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INQUIRING MINDS: Do you ever actually owe somebody an explanation?

And now the one I reckon I'll get better answers for: What should I have for lunch? How rude is it really to read while you're eating in a café? Because I don't think that one's an actual rule, I think someone made it up.

Comments

( 145 comments — Leave a comment )
notacaveman
Jan. 29th, 2011 09:29 am (UTC)

It depends if you've set up that kind of relationship.

Soup.

I don't find that rude at all (if you're eating alone) and I was raised in the sort of life where you had informal lessons on etiquette every hour and formal lessons on etiquette at least once a week. Where did you read that?
dieneidio
Jan. 29th, 2011 09:33 am (UTC)
What "kind" of relationship is that, anyway?

Soup! How do we feel about soup of the day? I think it involves fish.

My da used to say it all the time, goddamnit Enfys, stop reading at the table. To which I say: I cook for you, big man, I will read where I please.
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dieneidio
Jan. 29th, 2011 09:34 am (UTC)
Now we're talking my language.
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ouroborosdance
Jan. 29th, 2011 10:04 am (UTC)
Oh, I think that rather depends on what you've done, but it'd be pretty hypocritical of me to complain about anyone else's reluctance to explain their motivations.

Usually, anyway, people are much more transparent about those motives than they'd like to think, so I don't need to ask.

As for cafés and books: it depends on whether or not you have company, and the nature of that company. By yourself? It's no one's business, and it's hardly disruptive.
dieneidio
Jan. 29th, 2011 10:09 am (UTC)
I moved house!

That is completely all. She swears.

You are magical is what you are, teach me your ways.

I'm going on my own, later! Running by a bookstore after, funnily enough.
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returntous
Jan. 29th, 2011 11:26 am (UTC)
nah never do that cause if you're eating while reading in a cafe that signals every guy within twenty miles that you want them to immediately bother the fuck out of you in the hopes that invading your personal space will get you out of your pants.

it works every time, it's like a dog whistle.
dieneidio
Jan. 29th, 2011 11:29 am (UTC)
Jesus, if I wanted a dog, I've already got a perfectly serviceable ex.
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vretiel
Jan. 29th, 2011 02:58 pm (UTC)
Um. I guess it depends on the situation. I think sometimes we do.

And is it rude to read at a cafe? I actually didn't know that! So thank you?
dieneidio
Jan. 29th, 2011 03:00 pm (UTC)
Well, give me some examples, sport.

I don't think it is, honestly! My da reckons any books at any table is verboten, but what does he know.
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werewalf
Jan. 29th, 2011 03:06 pm (UTC)
Of course you do. I think it would be rather inconsiderate not to give somebody an explanation. I mean, for example! If you completely obliterate someone's chances of ever living a normal life... I think owing somebody an answer would probably be a fair debt. Don't you?

[ Rokay George. ]
dieneidio
Jan. 29th, 2011 03:07 pm (UTC)
He was like that when I got there, officer.
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this fais forever - werewalf - Jan. 29th, 2011 04:02 pm (UTC) - Expand
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stop eating my tags lj - werewalf - Jan. 29th, 2011 05:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
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deservesadaisy
Jan. 29th, 2011 03:37 pm (UTC)
You may, but some debts are better left unpaid.

Also, reading in a cafe is only rude if you are eating with someone else. Anything else you hear is a gross lie.
dieneidio
Jan. 29th, 2011 03:39 pm (UTC)
Right, because how often do you get people who ask questions and then spit the bloody dummy if you go and answer them? Often. If you're me.

Thank you!
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tickglock
Jan. 29th, 2011 04:21 pm (UTC)
Only thing that should ever be owed is what you've rightfully earned. And there ain't a whole lotta explanations anybody earned in this world.

And how bout a Reuben? My oh my, I ain't had one of those in a long looong time.
dieneidio
Jan. 29th, 2011 04:24 pm (UTC)
You're a body after my own heart with that one, mate.

But! A what now, then?
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nottopromise
Jan. 29th, 2011 06:50 pm (UTC)
You don't owe anybody anything at all. The responsibility one feels to do so is self-imposed, more than anything else. And a lot of the time people will only explain to justify themselves.

Are you a vegetarian?

Isn't rude at all. If it is, I've been disrespecting establishments since I was ten.
dieneidio
Jan. 30th, 2011 03:44 am (UTC)
Well, I never felt the need to do that, personally.

Nah.

So far everyone agrees with me. I like it.
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meanwhileback
Jan. 29th, 2011 09:28 pm (UTC)
I never owe anybody shit but I have a feeling somebody owes me a goddamn something with all the shit that keeps happening to me, yeah. Why, is somebody trying to demand things from you that they are clearly never going to get?

Also no it's not fucking rude to read at a cafe, unless you're actually at lunch with someone else. What the fuck kind of fascist bullshit rule is that.
dieneidio
Jan. 30th, 2011 03:46 am (UTC)
You know how men are, Penny.

'Fascist bullshit rule'. I like that one, I'm going to use it next time Da tries to tell me not to read at the table.
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thelivingend
Jan. 30th, 2011 09:52 am (UTC)
if you feel like you do, then yeah? i don't think there's some cosmic measure of who owes what to whoever... but if there is then i'm kinda boned

also you should eat a salad. and it is only rude if you're on a date.
dieneidio
Jan. 30th, 2011 09:56 am (UTC)
Me too, honestly! So I think I'm gonna figure if I don't reckon I owe anyone any explanations, then I just don't.

How do we feel about soup (it's something to do with the fish of the day, apparently) and a salad?
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one_drafted_man
Jan. 30th, 2011 05:52 pm (UTC)
I think that depends on how much what you're doing affects them, and whether you care what they think of you for doing it. And I know that it's often considered hip to be all disaffected and devil-may-care and shit, but sometimes just a little mindedness for that sort of thing goes a long way in the realm of public relations with other people.

If you're uncertain and just need something to eat, soups and sandwiches are generally pretty good bets. Myself, I'm currently having an excellent tortellini al forno. And I think reading at a cafe's only rude if you've got other people with you. Of course, I may be biased, since obviously I'm having this conversation while eating my lunch.
dieneidio
Jan. 31st, 2011 10:01 am (UTC)
I think 'dear Enfys I'm an enormous wank but for some totally absurd reason I completely made up you ought to respect my opinions!!' is a bit off, personally.

(That may not be what was said. Specifically.)

I think I'm sold on the fish soup and salad!
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